My husband Josh and I are so blessed. We live near amazing family, and we get to visit amazing family in amazing places. If we had it our way, they would all live in one place, but try as we might to orchestrate that, so far our plans for other people's lives have been met with smiles, but no action...(so far...)
We have been able to travel to Colorado to see Josh's family several times since Gavin was born. The first time, he was only three months old and traveled like a champ. The second time he was seven months old. Being somewhat of an overachiever when it came to separation anxiety (he had it 2 weeks before and 2 weeks after the "normal" range), it was a very stressful trip for him. (My main indicator besides trouble falling asleep had to do with poopy diapers, and trust me, you don't want me to go there.)
The next time we went was Christmas and New Year's, during which Gavin had his first birthday. He definitely still had trouble sleeping in a new place, but I also noticed something else. It seemed like he was growing up even faster in those two weeks than normal, in a good way. Before we went, he was pulling up every now and then but didn't really seem super interested. While we were there, pulling up and cruising around on the furniture became his new favorite activities. I thought maybe it had something to do with being around cousins closer to his age (3ish as opposed to 6+), but now I'm wondering if it also had something to do with the new place, the new people, the adapting--the traveling in and of itself.
When I publish this we will have just wrapped up a fall trip to see Colorado family. During the trip, Gavin turned 21 months. It was a great trip. The sleep adjustments went MUCH better (so relieved). The new faces/new places adjustments were somewhat rockier because now that he is older he is even more aware, has more opinions, has more ways to express them, etc. He is in the thick of the struggle between "I do it myself," and "Mommy, don't leave me." Even so, he warmed up to everyone nicely (relative to his extreme shyness), and he'll warm up to them even better the next time (we have a plan).
Once we were there for several days, I started to notice that developmental acceleration that I noticed during Christmas. The mom in me is relishing it --the doggone cuteness of it all. The scientist in me (which I didn't know existing until I had a kid) is pondering it. First, the cuteness:
His sense of humor was already coming along quite nicely, but it's taken a big leap. He often would initiate little jokes with Josh and me, and now he is doing it with other adults, even his almost five-year-old cousin. He is stringing even more words together and in even more meaningful ways (and with even more adorable inflection). Physically, he is trying more "stunts." Small things like taking steps down off of bigger curbs, but also big things like we took him to open gym at The Little Gym while on our trip (he goes weekly or more at home), and he wanted to walk the balance beam without holding my hands and did (what!? proud tears!).
One night was a picture of exactly what I am talking about. After playfully engaging his cousin during dinner, asking to dip his bread in hummus and (correctly) telling Coach (Grandpa) when to stop and go based on the color of the stoplight, he did all the motions to an obscure version of "If You're Happy and You Know It" almost exactly in rhythm.
Then before bed, he "taught" me how to play the "pretend you're sleeping and then wake up and laugh and snuggle Gavin" game that he and daddy had been playing while I was on a phone call earlier. He also did this pretty amazing thing while we were reading The Eye Book. A couple times recently, Josh and I would read an entire line except the last word and let Gavin fill it in: "They see a ___ (bird). They see a ___ (bed)." Tonight, we did that, and then he did it back to us. He said (in toddler-ease), "Our eyes see ___ (we said nothing, still unsure of what he was doing, so he filled it in for us) blue. Our eyes see...red." (We started catching on.) "They see a..." We blurted out, "Bird," probably more excitedly than when we first did it as kids. He went on, "They see a..." "Bed!" we said. We let out some gentle good-job-buddy's, so as to not frighten him with the cheers that we going on in our heads. This was followed by all manner of silliness and cuddles and (mutual) adoring looks. After he was in bed, I might have been heard saying, "Best. Bedtime. Ever!"
Okay, so now that I've fully indulged my emotional-mommy side, I'll give my scientist-mommy side (though admittedly much less developed) a turn.
I think I'm starting to see why these trips stretch him so much, in ways that I never could on my own at home. But it's impossible for me to talk about it without first considering why kids feel so safe with mom and dad. Yes, we've been with them their whole lives, but we also know them intimately in the here and now. We know that "unna" can mean "under," "upside-down," or "Uncle Justin," and we use our context clues to interpret and communicate back with them. We know that they like to get all the cars to the bottom of the ramp before giving one a second run and that they often finish their meal with a few rice puffs. We know. And when it's in our power and their best interest, we accommodate. We are training him, but in some ways, he is training us. In my estimation, that's as it should be. It's the comfort zone.
It's not like when we're at home, I never take him out of his comfort zone. We experience new places, do play dates, learn lots of new things every day. But traveling is extended time out of the comfort zone. I'm starting to think there's nothing like all of sudden living with a whole lot of new people that your toddler hasn't trained yet. Warm, wonderful, welcoming, affectionate, observant and intuitive people--but still untrained. In this new environment, Gavin encounters a lot of humans with new ideas about how to play, how to joke, and how to do every day things, and I think--in the context of the continuing safe support of mom and dad who know these new people have Gavin's best interests in mind--this is a good thing.
Like he does with Josh and me, he still tries to ensure his preferences prevail, but he also knows these new people are untrained, so he sometimes tries a new way in spite of his preferences. This is something that I could not artificially manufacture at home without considerable heartache on my part and confusion on his because he knows I am trained. I would not arbitrarily change things up. For a good reason? Yes, I would (a new sleep schedule is necessary, potty-training must ensue, etc.), but because of the bond we have, I wouldn't do it for the sake of shaking things up (maybe that's just me).
I think this adapting has been good for him. And as he is trying new ways with new people, it seems his mind is somehow opening up in other ways: "I am safe to joke with people who are not mom and dad," "I can do that balance beam with no hands," "I can talk more and longer," etc. I'm not sure how, but I don't think these developmental leaps while traveling are my imagination.
Of course, they absolutely might be my imagination. As I've mentioned in other posts, this mommy-scientist has a sample size of one, not something from which to draw conclusions. But my sample size of one is plenty enough for me to sit here and ponder my imperfect observations. Enough for me to relish his growth and progress. Enough for me to keep perking up my eyes and ears and heart and keep getting to know him better.
what I'm learning and loving about parenting...and other stuff
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Gavin's Playlist
My sweetie loves him some music. He listens intently, and he always has. I can remember as early as four months watching him in the "music trance" as we still call it (at 21 months). For Gavin, music can be a source of comfort, calm, fun, silliness and motivation.
For a long time, we subsisted on Toddler Pandora (with the exception of the Beatles Lullaby CD that he falls asleep to), but let's face it. Pandora can be glitchy or slow and requires wi-fi, which means in the middle of nowhere, in a basement or on a plane, you are out of luck. As much as I love free, I finally purchased some of our favorite songs and want to share Gavin's very own playlist with you, along with--in true blogger fashion--my opinions about why it's fabulous.
In no particular order...Gavin's Playlist
Johnny Bregar's entire Stomp Yer Feet! album which includes great blues-y versions of "If You're Happy...", "Bingo", "Alphabet Song", and lots more.
Elizabeth Mitchell's versions of "Freight Train", "Little Bird, Little Bird", "Peace Like a River", "Shoo-Fly", "This Little Light of Mine", "You Are My Sunshine", and Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds." I especially love "Little Sack of Sugar" and "One Day, Two Days..." because the lyrics remind me of an enamored, sleep-deprived parent just overflowing with cuddles and smiles due to pure baby cuteness -- kind of like how the love tags started with Gavin (see blog intro). Her voice is pure but not too sweet. Plus, she often has cute babies singing or talking in the background which Gavin loves. "Car, Car" will be my next download from her.
Sandra McCracken (wife of Derek Webb [now solo artist formerly of Caedmon's Call] and folk rock singer in her own right) put together the Rain for Roots project with several of her friends and released Big Stories for Little Ones. Spiritually-meaningful lyrics put to real music. I sometimes listen to it when Gavin's not around--especially track 2.
"Down By the Bay" from the Campfire Sing-Along album by Orange Sherbet and Hot Buttered Rum. A children's song with scat singing. Worth it.
Someone named Ukulele Jim does my very favorite version of "The Wheels on the Bus" (the things I have opinions about now as a mom are kind of ridiculous and rather exhausting, and yet...) It's another one with cute kids singing along, so it's one of Gavin's favorites.
Bob Marley's "One Love/People Get Ready"
The Beatles' "Love Me Do" and "Hello, Goodbye"
Switchfoot's "More Than Fine" -- I just had to. (Love them)
Caedmon's Call's "The Only One" (People get smarter when they listen to Caedmon's Call)
Raffi's "Down on Grandpa's Farm" (Gavin's current favorite), "Bananaphone" (pure silliness), "He's Got the Whole World", "Octopus's Garden", and "This Little Light of Mine."
"You've Got a Friend in Me" by Randy Newman (from Toy Story). Though I love Disney songs, Gavin is not quite into the drama and orchaestral fullness of them. However, he does love this one.
"All I Want Is You" by Barry Louis Polisar (from the Juno soundtrack) -- I may never have picked it if not for Toddler Pandora, but it became a favorite of Gavin's, and we like dancing to it.
If I decide to spend more money, I'll definitely be adding a Jack Johnson and a Frances England or two.
Now it's your turn. What song(s) would you add? What's your child's current favorite?
For a long time, we subsisted on Toddler Pandora (with the exception of the Beatles Lullaby CD that he falls asleep to), but let's face it. Pandora can be glitchy or slow and requires wi-fi, which means in the middle of nowhere, in a basement or on a plane, you are out of luck. As much as I love free, I finally purchased some of our favorite songs and want to share Gavin's very own playlist with you, along with--in true blogger fashion--my opinions about why it's fabulous.
In no particular order...Gavin's Playlist
Johnny Bregar's entire Stomp Yer Feet! album which includes great blues-y versions of "If You're Happy...", "Bingo", "Alphabet Song", and lots more.
Elizabeth Mitchell's versions of "Freight Train", "Little Bird, Little Bird", "Peace Like a River", "Shoo-Fly", "This Little Light of Mine", "You Are My Sunshine", and Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds." I especially love "Little Sack of Sugar" and "One Day, Two Days..." because the lyrics remind me of an enamored, sleep-deprived parent just overflowing with cuddles and smiles due to pure baby cuteness -- kind of like how the love tags started with Gavin (see blog intro). Her voice is pure but not too sweet. Plus, she often has cute babies singing or talking in the background which Gavin loves. "Car, Car" will be my next download from her.
Sandra McCracken (wife of Derek Webb [now solo artist formerly of Caedmon's Call] and folk rock singer in her own right) put together the Rain for Roots project with several of her friends and released Big Stories for Little Ones. Spiritually-meaningful lyrics put to real music. I sometimes listen to it when Gavin's not around--especially track 2.
"Down By the Bay" from the Campfire Sing-Along album by Orange Sherbet and Hot Buttered Rum. A children's song with scat singing. Worth it.
Someone named Ukulele Jim does my very favorite version of "The Wheels on the Bus" (the things I have opinions about now as a mom are kind of ridiculous and rather exhausting, and yet...) It's another one with cute kids singing along, so it's one of Gavin's favorites.
Bob Marley's "One Love/People Get Ready"
The Beatles' "Love Me Do" and "Hello, Goodbye"
Switchfoot's "More Than Fine" -- I just had to. (Love them)
Caedmon's Call's "The Only One" (People get smarter when they listen to Caedmon's Call)
Raffi's "Down on Grandpa's Farm" (Gavin's current favorite), "Bananaphone" (pure silliness), "He's Got the Whole World", "Octopus's Garden", and "This Little Light of Mine."
"You've Got a Friend in Me" by Randy Newman (from Toy Story). Though I love Disney songs, Gavin is not quite into the drama and orchaestral fullness of them. However, he does love this one.
"All I Want Is You" by Barry Louis Polisar (from the Juno soundtrack) -- I may never have picked it if not for Toddler Pandora, but it became a favorite of Gavin's, and we like dancing to it.
If I decide to spend more money, I'll definitely be adding a Jack Johnson and a Frances England or two.
Now it's your turn. What song(s) would you add? What's your child's current favorite?
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Toddler Language Explosion
Blogging is interesting. My sister-in-law Angie has written a couple thought-provoking posts this summer about her struggle to know how much good and bad to put on her blog and when and how. (Check her out here.) My "friend" Jen Hatmaker (friend is only in quotes because we haven't met, but I'm pretty sure that I love her enough to make the friendship work even with that minor technicality in play) wrote several stirring, serious, passionate posts in a row only to -- with astounding humor and effectiveness -- relate five normal mundane things that irk her. (Check her out here.)
Here is part of my favorite paragraph from her recent post, which kind of describes my dilemma in writing this and (sometimes) other posts about Gavin.
From Jen a few days ago: The downside of being a pretentious ingredient snob is that ... You end up saying pompous things like, “Grocery store tomatoes are not 1/100th the quality of my Cherokee Purples in the backyard.” This actually makes people hate you, like when you complain about shredding cheese and someone says just buy the preshredded bag and you call it waxy and unacceptable and they are like I kind of wish you were dead."
When I share victories about Gavin like how he is talking up a storm, I wonder if people are like stop bragging already. Then there are times when I contemplate sharing struggles and questions like...
when will he stop waking up at 5am already and
can the child never sit in circle time in our mommy-and-me class and
does this mean that he will always be a loner and not function in society? (I was pretty sure that he would start kindergarten being able only to bang toys together and never use them as intended until he proved otherwise. But I obsess, I mean, digress! ...Ummmm...)
I find it difficult to blog about struggles that are not yet resolved. That's what anonymous message boards are for, right? Somewhere between my anxiety about looking clueless (so sad she never properly taught that child to sleep) and my anxiety about looking clueless (doesn't she know babies that age aren't supposed to do that yet), it's just hard to get it down on the page. BUT I am contemplating thinking about planning to try to be more open about struggles in my blog. (Can you tell I don't feel particularly compelled at the moment?)
So that's for later. This is for now. Gavin is talking up a storm! Please don't 'kind of wish I was dead.'
Gavin has been saying words for quite a while. At about 18 months, there wasn't anything he wouldn't try to say. Then at 19.5 months, he started saying two-word phrases like "big up" (he still loves to step up and down more than just about anything else) and later that week moved on to two-word (what the books call) sentences like "bye dad-dee" and "eat pear." We love it, and he is quite proud of himself!
Along with his new ability to put words together has also come a new level of jibberish that will soon become intelligible conversation. New intonations, new sounds and a new expectation for us to understand more than we do. You see, his pronunciation is often far from accurate. I have often considered helping those closest to us by charting his "N" words like lunch, down and dinner and his "M" words like balloon and violin and...you get the idea. I remember excitedly texting Josh during his important study session when Gavin went from saying pink (for months pronounced "hum") to pink (pronounced "humnk") to pink ("mink") to pink ("pink") all in a morning. (Aside: even now I'm wondering if you are like doesn't she know that kind of pronunciation is a sign of a learning disability or conversely if you are like duh, all babies do that. Reference crazy-person rant above about blogging struggles.)
Anyway, because he expects us to understand more these days and because--for new words or words with no context--we often don't, his (adorable) little toddler brain has a few go-to ways of dealing with it:
1) Just keep saying it. I can picture his patient, earnest little face now as he thinks to himself C'mon mom, you can do it. Reach back into that rusty brain. Remember, we were talking about this yesterday. Remember. Many times, it will click for me, and I'll know I'm right when he repeats my correct answer with confident approval. Sometimes, he'll even add a yeah which he then tends to follow by yes and uh-huh.
2) When possible, point. He'll usually try a couple times without pointing even if the object is right next to him. I love it when the object is not next to him, and he takes those cute pudgy legs over to it and then gently repeatedly points with one finger.
3) Take a better suggestion. If I am guessing, and say something that sounds pretty good to him, he'll sometimes (though much less often than you might think) change his mind. Crackers? Yes, okay mom. Since you're offering.
4) Give up. Sometimes, he'll just decide it's not worth it. I'll guess a few times as he stares intently at me, then he'll just calmly look down and go back to what he was doing like Yeah, nevermind...it's really not worth it after all.
5) Whine or cry. Thankfully, this doesn't happen often, but he is a toddler after all, and more so every day.
To end this already-too-long post, here are my favorite things he's saying right now. At this point, I am probably the only one still reading, so why not indulge myself?
scissors -- seh-sehs with equal emphasis on both syllables
olive oil -- he'll say it five different ways in one minute which is part of the cuteness, but it's one of the few times he makes an actual "L" sound instead of a "Y" sound. Usually it comes out ol-oh.
house -- it's spot on but almost a nasal sound
high five dad -- I miss this one about half the time until he patiently helps me catch on, so I don't really know how to describe it.
hug -- an oldie, but a goodie -- he says it like a cross between hug and huck, which is adorable, but it's that sweet face with eyebrows slightly raised and those arms reaching out that make me think I don't care how you say it, baby. Yes, I'll take one of those.
Here is part of my favorite paragraph from her recent post, which kind of describes my dilemma in writing this and (sometimes) other posts about Gavin.
From Jen a few days ago: The downside of being a pretentious ingredient snob is that ... You end up saying pompous things like, “Grocery store tomatoes are not 1/100th the quality of my Cherokee Purples in the backyard.” This actually makes people hate you, like when you complain about shredding cheese and someone says just buy the preshredded bag and you call it waxy and unacceptable and they are like I kind of wish you were dead."
When I share victories about Gavin like how he is talking up a storm, I wonder if people are like stop bragging already. Then there are times when I contemplate sharing struggles and questions like...
when will he stop waking up at 5am already and
can the child never sit in circle time in our mommy-and-me class and
does this mean that he will always be a loner and not function in society? (I was pretty sure that he would start kindergarten being able only to bang toys together and never use them as intended until he proved otherwise. But I obsess, I mean, digress! ...Ummmm...)
I find it difficult to blog about struggles that are not yet resolved. That's what anonymous message boards are for, right? Somewhere between my anxiety about looking clueless (so sad she never properly taught that child to sleep) and my anxiety about looking clueless (doesn't she know babies that age aren't supposed to do that yet), it's just hard to get it down on the page. BUT I am contemplating thinking about planning to try to be more open about struggles in my blog. (Can you tell I don't feel particularly compelled at the moment?)
So that's for later. This is for now. Gavin is talking up a storm! Please don't 'kind of wish I was dead.'
Gavin has been saying words for quite a while. At about 18 months, there wasn't anything he wouldn't try to say. Then at 19.5 months, he started saying two-word phrases like "big up" (he still loves to step up and down more than just about anything else) and later that week moved on to two-word (what the books call) sentences like "bye dad-dee" and "eat pear." We love it, and he is quite proud of himself!
Along with his new ability to put words together has also come a new level of jibberish that will soon become intelligible conversation. New intonations, new sounds and a new expectation for us to understand more than we do. You see, his pronunciation is often far from accurate. I have often considered helping those closest to us by charting his "N" words like lunch, down and dinner and his "M" words like balloon and violin and...you get the idea. I remember excitedly texting Josh during his important study session when Gavin went from saying pink (for months pronounced "hum") to pink (pronounced "humnk") to pink ("mink") to pink ("pink") all in a morning. (Aside: even now I'm wondering if you are like doesn't she know that kind of pronunciation is a sign of a learning disability or conversely if you are like duh, all babies do that. Reference crazy-person rant above about blogging struggles.)
Anyway, because he expects us to understand more these days and because--for new words or words with no context--we often don't, his (adorable) little toddler brain has a few go-to ways of dealing with it:
1) Just keep saying it. I can picture his patient, earnest little face now as he thinks to himself C'mon mom, you can do it. Reach back into that rusty brain. Remember, we were talking about this yesterday. Remember. Many times, it will click for me, and I'll know I'm right when he repeats my correct answer with confident approval. Sometimes, he'll even add a yeah which he then tends to follow by yes and uh-huh.
2) When possible, point. He'll usually try a couple times without pointing even if the object is right next to him. I love it when the object is not next to him, and he takes those cute pudgy legs over to it and then gently repeatedly points with one finger.
3) Take a better suggestion. If I am guessing, and say something that sounds pretty good to him, he'll sometimes (though much less often than you might think) change his mind. Crackers? Yes, okay mom. Since you're offering.
4) Give up. Sometimes, he'll just decide it's not worth it. I'll guess a few times as he stares intently at me, then he'll just calmly look down and go back to what he was doing like Yeah, nevermind...it's really not worth it after all.
5) Whine or cry. Thankfully, this doesn't happen often, but he is a toddler after all, and more so every day.
To end this already-too-long post, here are my favorite things he's saying right now. At this point, I am probably the only one still reading, so why not indulge myself?
scissors -- seh-sehs with equal emphasis on both syllables
olive oil -- he'll say it five different ways in one minute which is part of the cuteness, but it's one of the few times he makes an actual "L" sound instead of a "Y" sound. Usually it comes out ol-oh.
house -- it's spot on but almost a nasal sound
high five dad -- I miss this one about half the time until he patiently helps me catch on, so I don't really know how to describe it.
hug -- an oldie, but a goodie -- he says it like a cross between hug and huck, which is adorable, but it's that sweet face with eyebrows slightly raised and those arms reaching out that make me think I don't care how you say it, baby. Yes, I'll take one of those.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Milk...it does something...
The post below is complete, and now I'm sitting here trying to think of a creative, interesting way to open it. The more I sit here, the more I realize it is pointless to avoid the fact that this is a very technical post -- meant to be one of those that comes alongside another mom to help. Trying to open in a snazzy way is making me cranky (grin). So...I will just say that if you are looking for cute anecdotes about Gavin, stay tuned. In the meantime, please pass this on to a mom that may find it helpful.
Some of you may remember that we took Gavin off of all dairy in an attempt to reduce or eliminate his breathing issues. Well, it did seem to help with that and also with his sleeping! He went from getting up one or two brief times in the middle of the night (mostly for a re-plug of the pacifier) and also waking early (anywhere from a yucky time like 5 to an acceptable time like 6:30) to not waking at all in the middle of the night and most of the time having a normal wake time (between 6 and 7:30).
When we relayed our experience to his pediatrician, he seemed intrigued but not at all surprised. He said milk can negatively affect digestion, breathing and even the nervous system--any one of which could have been disrupting his sleep. We are thankful that our pediatrician intentionally integrates nutrition into his practice.
When jumping into this non-dairy adventure, I read everything I could about how to help him get enough nutrition without whole milk and found everything from "serve your baby a variety of healthy foods, and he/she will be fine" to recommended quantities of fat, protein, calcium and vitamin D and the best ways to get them. Of course, I jumped full in to the latter...bring on the calculations, checklists and overall obsessing!
Our family is far from perfect in this area, and as with everything, you should definitely check with an expert (disclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer), but with all the hard work I've done and great resources I've found, I feel compelled to share.
First, I will share an Excel sheet I created to help me determine how much calcium, fat, and protein Gavin needs at each age. The spreadsheet also contains a list of the major foods we use to get him there with the amounts of each nutrient listed above according to Super Baby Food or the product package itself (if they differed, I used the product package). Second, I will share what a typical day of nutrition might look like for Gavin. I looked everywhere for an example like this and came up with nothing. Like I said, I come at this with no credentials, but I offer this as a starting place for your own researching and planning. Third, I will list my primary sources and how they helped.
Non-Dairy Nutrition Calculator for Children 1 to 3 Years Old
This calculator contains formulas based on nutritional recommendations for children 1 to 3 years old found in the book Super Baby Food. The book itself contains recommendations for children 0-12 months as well. Since this post is particularly for parents who want an alternative to whole milk for their children and since the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends children not drink whole milk before the age of 1 year, I have put only the calculations for that age group to keep things simple.
To download the chart for your own use, just click the link below. You will be taken to an online version of the chart in Google Docs. You cannot edit the chart online, but you can download it from Google Docs onto your computer to complete for your own child. Click here to go to Google Docs to download. (Go to the File Menu in the top left corner and click "download" as Excel or as Open Document.)
A typical day of nutrition for Gavin
At the time of this writing, Gavin is 20 months. Keep in mind that he loves and has always loved his food. So, yes, he does eat all of this happily. If your child resists new foods, remember that most kids must sample something 7-10 times before they develop a taste for it. The important thing is to keep offering it. They don't have to eat an entire serving -- just taste it. When we were introducing tahini to Gavin, we planned to mix it into his cereal. We started with a 1 teaspoon mixed in and he did grimace the first few times. Once he was used to that small amount, we slowly worked up to a tablespoon. He gobbles it down now.
With each meal or snack, we give Gavin almond milk fortified with calcium and other vitamins. It has twice as much calcium as cow's milk but it's not the primary source of his fat or protein, so I'm not insane about him getting a certain number of ounces, but he usually has about 12-15 ounces in a day.
Breakfast: Some kind of berries and another kind of fruit usually blueberries and mango or strawberries and peaches. Also, his beloved Cheerios(R).
Morning snack: 1/2 piece whole wheat bread (you'll need to check the ingredients if you are eliminating all dairy - some contain whey) with almond butter (about 1T), a small amount of blackstrap molasses and usually either crushed pineapple, sliced banana or applesauce to help the almond butter go down. Also, some kind of fruit cut into bite-sized pieces or applesauce if we're out and about.
Lunch: 1 egg (hardboiled or scrambled), Green veggie like kale or broccoli (about 2T), beans (about 2T), 1 small orange or 1/2 of a large one.
Afternoon snack: Earth's Best oatmeal or Dr. Sears multi-grain cereal (3T) with 1T tahini (raw) and
1-1/2 T wheat germ mixed with coconut milk (about 3 oz or to the right consistency). We used to also give an orange veggie like carrots or sweet potatoes, but recently I increased the cereal and saved the orange veggie for dinner. Mostly to make it easier for me -- especially when we're out.
Dinner: Meat or fish (about 2 ounces), orange veggie like carrots or sweet potatoes or winter squash (about 2T), sometimes tomato (about 1T), avocado (1/6 of a small one), 1/2 piece of bread. Recently, I've been concerned about making sure he's getting enough healthy fats, so I let him dip his bread in olive oil with Italian herbs sprinkled in. He loves it, and it is super cute to watch him dip and listen to him try to say olive oil.
This is just an example. We certainly deviate in one way or another most days, and like I said, we are far from perfect, so I would love to hear your suggestions. Just leave a comment below.
Sources that were helpful to me
This post would not exist without the book Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron. It covers nutrition for infants through toddlers, and even though I didn't start reading it until Gavin graduated from purees to finger foods, I cannot overstate its usefulness to me. My favorite features are:
Another resource that was helpful to me was an article called, "Is Milk Really Good for Our Children?" With studies quoted from the Institute of Medicine of the National Academy of Sciences and the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, I found the information helpful. Just keep in mind, the list of calcium sources may or may not be listed in baby-sized portions.
For questions about foods not on my chart or in your other sources, you can use Self's Nutrition Data. Just make sure you are adjusting for baby-sized portions.
Final thoughts: If you have questions about this, I recommend you ask your pediatrician. If you have a question about the chart or our approach with Gavin, please ask it in the comment section below, and I will address it to the best of my ability.
Some of you may remember that we took Gavin off of all dairy in an attempt to reduce or eliminate his breathing issues. Well, it did seem to help with that and also with his sleeping! He went from getting up one or two brief times in the middle of the night (mostly for a re-plug of the pacifier) and also waking early (anywhere from a yucky time like 5 to an acceptable time like 6:30) to not waking at all in the middle of the night and most of the time having a normal wake time (between 6 and 7:30).
When we relayed our experience to his pediatrician, he seemed intrigued but not at all surprised. He said milk can negatively affect digestion, breathing and even the nervous system--any one of which could have been disrupting his sleep. We are thankful that our pediatrician intentionally integrates nutrition into his practice.
When jumping into this non-dairy adventure, I read everything I could about how to help him get enough nutrition without whole milk and found everything from "serve your baby a variety of healthy foods, and he/she will be fine" to recommended quantities of fat, protein, calcium and vitamin D and the best ways to get them. Of course, I jumped full in to the latter...bring on the calculations, checklists and overall obsessing!
Our family is far from perfect in this area, and as with everything, you should definitely check with an expert (disclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer), but with all the hard work I've done and great resources I've found, I feel compelled to share.
First, I will share an Excel sheet I created to help me determine how much calcium, fat, and protein Gavin needs at each age. The spreadsheet also contains a list of the major foods we use to get him there with the amounts of each nutrient listed above according to Super Baby Food or the product package itself (if they differed, I used the product package). Second, I will share what a typical day of nutrition might look like for Gavin. I looked everywhere for an example like this and came up with nothing. Like I said, I come at this with no credentials, but I offer this as a starting place for your own researching and planning. Third, I will list my primary sources and how they helped.
Non-Dairy Nutrition Calculator for Children 1 to 3 Years Old
This calculator contains formulas based on nutritional recommendations for children 1 to 3 years old found in the book Super Baby Food. The book itself contains recommendations for children 0-12 months as well. Since this post is particularly for parents who want an alternative to whole milk for their children and since the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends children not drink whole milk before the age of 1 year, I have put only the calculations for that age group to keep things simple.
To download the chart for your own use, just click the link below. You will be taken to an online version of the chart in Google Docs. You cannot edit the chart online, but you can download it from Google Docs onto your computer to complete for your own child. Click here to go to Google Docs to download. (Go to the File Menu in the top left corner and click "download" as Excel or as Open Document.)
A typical day of nutrition for Gavin
At the time of this writing, Gavin is 20 months. Keep in mind that he loves and has always loved his food. So, yes, he does eat all of this happily. If your child resists new foods, remember that most kids must sample something 7-10 times before they develop a taste for it. The important thing is to keep offering it. They don't have to eat an entire serving -- just taste it. When we were introducing tahini to Gavin, we planned to mix it into his cereal. We started with a 1 teaspoon mixed in and he did grimace the first few times. Once he was used to that small amount, we slowly worked up to a tablespoon. He gobbles it down now.
With each meal or snack, we give Gavin almond milk fortified with calcium and other vitamins. It has twice as much calcium as cow's milk but it's not the primary source of his fat or protein, so I'm not insane about him getting a certain number of ounces, but he usually has about 12-15 ounces in a day.
Breakfast: Some kind of berries and another kind of fruit usually blueberries and mango or strawberries and peaches. Also, his beloved Cheerios(R).
Morning snack: 1/2 piece whole wheat bread (you'll need to check the ingredients if you are eliminating all dairy - some contain whey) with almond butter (about 1T), a small amount of blackstrap molasses and usually either crushed pineapple, sliced banana or applesauce to help the almond butter go down. Also, some kind of fruit cut into bite-sized pieces or applesauce if we're out and about.
Lunch: 1 egg (hardboiled or scrambled), Green veggie like kale or broccoli (about 2T), beans (about 2T), 1 small orange or 1/2 of a large one.
Afternoon snack: Earth's Best oatmeal or Dr. Sears multi-grain cereal (3T) with 1T tahini (raw) and
1-1/2 T wheat germ mixed with coconut milk (about 3 oz or to the right consistency). We used to also give an orange veggie like carrots or sweet potatoes, but recently I increased the cereal and saved the orange veggie for dinner. Mostly to make it easier for me -- especially when we're out.
Dinner: Meat or fish (about 2 ounces), orange veggie like carrots or sweet potatoes or winter squash (about 2T), sometimes tomato (about 1T), avocado (1/6 of a small one), 1/2 piece of bread. Recently, I've been concerned about making sure he's getting enough healthy fats, so I let him dip his bread in olive oil with Italian herbs sprinkled in. He loves it, and it is super cute to watch him dip and listen to him try to say olive oil.
This is just an example. We certainly deviate in one way or another most days, and like I said, we are far from perfect, so I would love to hear your suggestions. Just leave a comment below.
Sources that were helpful to me
This post would not exist without the book Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron. It covers nutrition for infants through toddlers, and even though I didn't start reading it until Gavin graduated from purees to finger foods, I cannot overstate its usefulness to me. My favorite features are:
- A breakdown of how much of the major nutrients a child needs at each age.
- A list of almost every fruit and vegetable you can think of and its primary nutrients and preparation tips.
- A list of vitamins and minerals and the foods that are highest in them.
- A list of super baby enhancers (things you can easily add to cereal or sandwiches to boost nutrition).
- Nutrient table with baby-sized portions.
- An example of what a-day-in-the-life of her baby's diet looked like (I looked everywhere for this online).
Another resource that was helpful to me was an article called, "Is Milk Really Good for Our Children?" With studies quoted from the Institute of Medicine of the National Academy of Sciences and the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, I found the information helpful. Just keep in mind, the list of calcium sources may or may not be listed in baby-sized portions.
For questions about foods not on my chart or in your other sources, you can use Self's Nutrition Data. Just make sure you are adjusting for baby-sized portions.
Final thoughts: If you have questions about this, I recommend you ask your pediatrician. If you have a question about the chart or our approach with Gavin, please ask it in the comment section below, and I will address it to the best of my ability.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
What Gavin is Doing at 17.5 Months
But first...the current love tags: snuggle, snug, snuggle pocket, buddy, baby boo, sweetie pie, honey bun. If you're new to the blog, I can't help it. They just come out. Not that I try to stop them...
So 17.5 months! Here's his latest and greatest.
He is totally taken with stepping up and down. I could take him to the best toddler play area ever, and he would find a step and say, "Up....n dah" at least a dozen times. And then he'd glance around at all the cool stuff and find another step and do the same thing. The more challenging step, the better.
Pouring - it might not seem like a big deal, but I was kind of waiting for it. I don't know why.
He is using his voice to do some new intonations to ask questions (like "Where's the orange egg?" which sounds more like "Ahh Ange?") and express surprise (like "There she is!" which sounds more like "Ahh-she!") It's the intonation and sometimes the hands going straight up in the air that makes it a question or an exclamation. I LOVE it.
To go along with the above: hiding eggs around the house has been a favorite game since we found them in Grandma and Grandpa's yard on Easter. It's just now starting to lose steam (in other words, he watches mommy hide the eggs, finds one and then moves on to something else). It's pretty amazing to me that now he can look in the bucket (yes, Easter bucket, not basket) and know which egg is missing. The pink one was missing, and after a few days of hearing "Ahh Hum??" (translated "Where is the pink one?") repeatedly and with looks of great concern, you betcha I invested some time in finding that egg!
One day in the ER (we've had a few trips due to his some-are-calling-it-asthma-some-are-calling-it-reactive-airway-disease), I was trying to distract him a few more minutes and started bouncing his Pooh Bear up and down in time with (my version of) the Winnie the Pooh song. He loved it. Now, he bounces Pooh in time to the song. When he wants me to sing faster, he moves him faster, and when he wants me to sing slower, slower. And today, he matched pitch with one of his toys. It sings "red," and he repeated, "red" on the same note. I felt pretty proud.
On Mother's Day, he started saying "cuddle" and hugging me. Aaaahhh! Even writing about it, I'm about to just DIE. It's so cute! Now he "cuddles" with Daddy, his cousins, his Pooh Bear and our dog Millie (once). This past weekend, he started saying "hug" and giving really good squeezes with both arms. Aren't you just dying?! Well, unless you don't know Gavin at all, and then maybe you're at least smiling.
He's doing all kinds of new gross motor skills: revving his cars before rolling them, bending his knees or lifting one foot when he sees another kid jumping (I hear they don't jump until they're 2-ish), doing toe raises, putting his feet into our shoes, not to mention all of the skills he's learning in our Mommy-and-me gym class.
Here's a scary one. Now he can look into the future and remember the past (somewhat). Today at lunch, I said that maybe we could read his "Wheels on the Bus" book when we were finished eating. About 5-10 minutes later, he walked over to the book shelf saying "bee" (bus). Of course, we found the book and read/sang it.
Daddy sometimes juggles bean bags for him, and it's so cute to watch him hold two bean bags straight up in the air as if willing them to fly in a juggling formation.
He loves making jokes, even if we sometimes don't understand why they are funny. He'll try just about anything to make us laugh. And his laugh is changing from a baby laugh to a kid laugh--a long, loud, delightful kid laugh.
My favorite words he's saying now are ride (that long "i" sound is new and just too cute), hug (of course) and go (because of the way he extends the "o").
I've had several friends say, "Every age is the best age," and I think about that often. So far, it's absolutely true.
So 17.5 months! Here's his latest and greatest.
He is totally taken with stepping up and down. I could take him to the best toddler play area ever, and he would find a step and say, "Up....n dah" at least a dozen times. And then he'd glance around at all the cool stuff and find another step and do the same thing. The more challenging step, the better.
Pouring - it might not seem like a big deal, but I was kind of waiting for it. I don't know why.
He is using his voice to do some new intonations to ask questions (like "Where's the orange egg?" which sounds more like "Ahh Ange?") and express surprise (like "There she is!" which sounds more like "Ahh-she!") It's the intonation and sometimes the hands going straight up in the air that makes it a question or an exclamation. I LOVE it.
To go along with the above: hiding eggs around the house has been a favorite game since we found them in Grandma and Grandpa's yard on Easter. It's just now starting to lose steam (in other words, he watches mommy hide the eggs, finds one and then moves on to something else). It's pretty amazing to me that now he can look in the bucket (yes, Easter bucket, not basket) and know which egg is missing. The pink one was missing, and after a few days of hearing "Ahh Hum??" (translated "Where is the pink one?") repeatedly and with looks of great concern, you betcha I invested some time in finding that egg!
One day in the ER (we've had a few trips due to his some-are-calling-it-asthma-some-are-calling-it-reactive-airway-disease), I was trying to distract him a few more minutes and started bouncing his Pooh Bear up and down in time with (my version of) the Winnie the Pooh song. He loved it. Now, he bounces Pooh in time to the song. When he wants me to sing faster, he moves him faster, and when he wants me to sing slower, slower. And today, he matched pitch with one of his toys. It sings "red," and he repeated, "red" on the same note. I felt pretty proud.
On Mother's Day, he started saying "cuddle" and hugging me. Aaaahhh! Even writing about it, I'm about to just DIE. It's so cute! Now he "cuddles" with Daddy, his cousins, his Pooh Bear and our dog Millie (once). This past weekend, he started saying "hug" and giving really good squeezes with both arms. Aren't you just dying?! Well, unless you don't know Gavin at all, and then maybe you're at least smiling.
He's doing all kinds of new gross motor skills: revving his cars before rolling them, bending his knees or lifting one foot when he sees another kid jumping (I hear they don't jump until they're 2-ish), doing toe raises, putting his feet into our shoes, not to mention all of the skills he's learning in our Mommy-and-me gym class.
Here's a scary one. Now he can look into the future and remember the past (somewhat). Today at lunch, I said that maybe we could read his "Wheels on the Bus" book when we were finished eating. About 5-10 minutes later, he walked over to the book shelf saying "bee" (bus). Of course, we found the book and read/sang it.
Daddy sometimes juggles bean bags for him, and it's so cute to watch him hold two bean bags straight up in the air as if willing them to fly in a juggling formation.
He loves making jokes, even if we sometimes don't understand why they are funny. He'll try just about anything to make us laugh. And his laugh is changing from a baby laugh to a kid laugh--a long, loud, delightful kid laugh.
My favorite words he's saying now are ride (that long "i" sound is new and just too cute), hug (of course) and go (because of the way he extends the "o").
I've had several friends say, "Every age is the best age," and I think about that often. So far, it's absolutely true.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Mommy Wars
Am I the only one who didn't realize this was "a thing"? Mommy Wars -- apparently the phrase was coined in the '80's when I was still playing with pogo-balls and fashion plates. Don't get me wrong. I know there is competitiveness among mommies who ascribe to different
theories -- believe me I know. I guess I just didn't realize it had a
name. And also that moms in some countries don't experience it. I guess what I'm saying is, I thought it was normal. And, yes, I've been a perpetrator and a victim.
I found this post while looking for a devotional, and I found it very interesting...and moving. Mommy Wars in the Local Church: A Parable
It is the third of five in a series on the topic. I started with the third because it was the most recent one at the time, but I found them all uplifting and thought-provoking. And I thought we gals, gals who all mean well though we may have been inadvertent perpetrators at one time or another, could advance Mommy Peace and Mommy Grace and Mommy Dependence on God. I'm going to try to make that my thing.
Love you girls!
I found this post while looking for a devotional, and I found it very interesting...and moving. Mommy Wars in the Local Church: A Parable
It is the third of five in a series on the topic. I started with the third because it was the most recent one at the time, but I found them all uplifting and thought-provoking. And I thought we gals, gals who all mean well though we may have been inadvertent perpetrators at one time or another, could advance Mommy Peace and Mommy Grace and Mommy Dependence on God. I'm going to try to make that my thing.
Love you girls!
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Just a Moment-o Please
A large part of the great thing about having kids rests in the little things. The things that maybe no one else would notice (unless they are with your kids hours upon hours) and if they did notice, they surely wouldn't think those "things" are as adorable or as significant you do.
My life is full of these little things, and I've been using a great app for capturing those little moments (who has time for a full-fledged journal?!) It is appropriately named Momento (by d3i for iPhone and iPad). This app allows you to record anything you want to remember and tag it (if you want), so you can find like items. (In my case, tags are simple: talking, walking, family, playtime...) You can also import feeds from your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or a dozen more online accounts, so that your "diary" is all in one place. The things you write directly into Momento can stay private, which is great because I am in love with my boy, but even I don't think that the whole world wants to know when he starts to say the word egg like "egk" instead of "agk." I don't pretend to be a tech review gal, so I'll just say it does lots of other cool stuff, and it's worth looking into. (It was runner up for Apple App of the Year in 2011...so it's quite possible that you all have been using it for months.)
Here are a couple of those little things that I've enjoyed in the past week:
My life is full of these little things, and I've been using a great app for capturing those little moments (who has time for a full-fledged journal?!) It is appropriately named Momento (by d3i for iPhone and iPad). This app allows you to record anything you want to remember and tag it (if you want), so you can find like items. (In my case, tags are simple: talking, walking, family, playtime...) You can also import feeds from your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or a dozen more online accounts, so that your "diary" is all in one place. The things you write directly into Momento can stay private, which is great because I am in love with my boy, but even I don't think that the whole world wants to know when he starts to say the word egg like "egk" instead of "agk." I don't pretend to be a tech review gal, so I'll just say it does lots of other cool stuff, and it's worth looking into. (It was runner up for Apple App of the Year in 2011...so it's quite possible that you all have been using it for months.)
Here are a couple of those little things that I've enjoyed in the past week:
- When Bob Marley's "Is This Love" came on, Gavin started grooving in perfect rhythm, and looked at me like, "I love this song," though he had never heard it before.
- When we were at a playdate, he had just finished putting all of the Duplo Legos back in the bucket, and a little friend came over a took a few out and started placing them on the floor. He watched her and looked down at each Lego like, "I just put those away..."
- He has started blowing kisses and saying "mwah" or "mah" as he does.
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