Love letter to our little

Callen is 18 months! Man, I love this age!

This past Sunday, we formally dedicated Callen to the Lord. Of course, we'd done so many time in our personal thoughts and prayers as we sought guidance and asked for blessings for him. But Sunday our church community joined us in committing to do our best to show him Jesus, to give him unconditional love and to entrust him into God's hands day after day.

For a bit of background, in our church we treat dedication as more of a commitment on the part of the parents and church family to love and guide the child in the way of the Lord, rather than as a guarantee of the child's right-standing with God. We believe when the child is older, they still must choose for themselves whether to follow the Lord.

Our church invites parents to write a letter to their child expressing how the child is a gift and how they hope to guide the child. Our letter is as imperfect as we are parents, but also as full of love. Here is it (with some parenthetical notes).

Dear Callen,

You are our pumpkin bear, our chicken wiggle, our little man. (Josh asked that I read that first line. It might have, maybe, possibly had something to do with the fact that I critiqued his pronunciation of "pumpkin" during the letter composition: "Honey, it's more like punkin..." Knowing I would never make it through the whole thing without crying, I let him take it after that.) We are crazy about how God knit you together, though we know we will spend a lifetime getting to know all the wonders he has put inside you. We love your big hugs and little pats on the shoulder. You make us laugh with your silly ways, and we love watching you as you learn how to do it on purpose. You take joy in the small things and help us see light on dark days. And the way you and Gavin play is just awe-inspiring.

We are so, so grateful that God has chosen to make us your parents. Woohoo! (Somehow, the woohoo was not read aloud...hmmm...) We for sure hit the jackpot with you and Gavin. And we are so humbled. You and your brother make us want to be our best selves, and though we are frail, we know that the Lord is faithful to do more than we ask or seek as we continue to rely on Him.

Today we, with our family and our church community, pause in this sacred space and commit to do all we can to help you know and take stock in the love of a God who spared nothing, not even His own Son, to make a way for you to be His forever. How we hope that at each step, you say “yes” to what God has for you. Yes to grace, yes to joy, yes to love, yes to the adventure of faith. How we pray that the clumsy, imperfect way we walk this walk somehow still helps you see life with Jesus as the truest north, the greatest reality and worth anything you have to give up to pursue it whole-heartedly.

We pray that as you get to know your creator and as you live in community with your church family, you are inspired: (I added a few lines below after we read the letter in church because I kept struggling with how to say what I wanted to say until I was cutting up pineapple in a quiet house the next day. Doesn't that happen to everyone?)

To be kind – taking the time to make the world a better place in simple ways

To wonder – taking in the countless ways God weaves beauty into our lives

To be compassionate – seeing others as God does and acting out of a loving heart

To join God in his ongoing rescue of the oppressed – shining light in dark places

To keep your heart open – listening to others, giving help and being ready to receive help

Callen, you are already such a valued member of our community. We take joy in knowing that God will continue to use you to teach us. We look forward to learning from what we hope you are bold enough to share, and brave enough to ask. We pray that you and your brother love and lead, being always ready to humbly point people to Jesus.

As we share a few of the hopes and dreams we have for you today, we want you to know that we will love you no matter what you do. We hope you will always see our love as a safe place to come home to, and yet the love we have for you cannot compare to the love God has for you.

You are a treasure. We love you, son. 

Love,
Daddy and Mommy

Baby Dedication Letter - A Guest Post of Sorts

A few weeks ago, our friends dedicated their adorable two-year-old son (name omitted for his privacy) to the Lord. They wrote him this letter, which they read to him in front of the church. It floored me. It was so sweet and personal and profound. They have graciously allowed me to share it with you. 

I love the way their letter highlights the goodness of God, their son's personality and the individualized instruction they desire to give him in the Lord. It is precious to me that they want to be careful not to fit him into a predetermined mold or even create a carbon copy of themselves, but rather grow someone who's faith is vibrant in the Lord in the context of the person God made him to be. I believe this captures much of what Proverbs 22:6 is talking about, and in a very beautiful way:

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

I hope you enjoy the letter as I have. I know I will be praying many parts of it for Gavin...in the context of who God has created him to be.

(For a bit of background: in our church, we treat dedication as more of a commitment on the part of the parents and church family to love and guide the child in the way of the Lord, rather than as a guarantee of the child's right-standing with God. We believe when the child is older, they still must choose for themselves whether to follow the Lord.)

Oh, and notice the love tags in the first line. Love them!

Dear Son,

You are our silly goose, our cuddly bear, our wild monkey, our little rascal, and we love you more than we could have ever imagined. You are a perfect gift to us. You bring us happiness. We are blessed everyday by your enormous smiles and sweet giggles. Your joyful personality attracts everybody. We are encouraged and in awe of your carefree spirit. You make us laugh all the time! We love watching you enjoy life, from jumping at the playgrounds, splashing in the pool, kicking soccer balls, sharing a spoon at the yogurt shop, popping water balloons in your face, to letting the world know whenever you spot a bulldozer.  The list could go on, but life though your eyes is pure joy.

From the day you were born, we’ve felt enormous commitment and responsibility to make your world safe, beautiful, and happy.

Spending time with you clears our mind to see past the stress and worries in our life.

God knew just right person for us.

Now that you’re two, our focus as parents shifts from just meeting your basic needs to being intentional about how we raise you. We’re committed to creating an environment free of fear, where you can make mistakes and try new things and find out how to be fully you.

We want to teach you that everyone is valued and loved and we treat everyone with kindness and respect.  We’re committed to having fun together as a family.

We’re committed to giving you opportunities to find your passions and to teach you about the love of Jesus.  Every step of this life seems impossible without trusting that God is in control of your life. 

Your family and community of friends will have a lasting impact on your life. Our family will always love and support you (even though some live far away), and you are also blessed to have a strong family-like community nearby. We will continue to surround you with those who model Jesus’ love. Our hope is that our family and our community of friends will be a safe place for you. We will be your mentors. We will support and guide you, and live as examples for you.

And lastly, we dream that you will know joy and happiness. That you will want to help others and join in God’s work to make this world a better place. We dream that you will discover and say “yes” to the person that God has made you to be. We dream that our family will continue to grow together and that you will always feel the same closeness and tangible love that you experience now.

With love,

Daddy and Mommy

My New Mirror

And so it begins...toddlerhood.

In the past two days, Gavin's toddler attributes have increased significantly. I knew this was coming -- both the beautiful parts and the not-so-beautiful. I know that as he grows up, we will be able to bond in new ways. I think every parent has those things that they are looking forward to doing with their kids. I also know that he will practice asserting his independence in ways that are altogether unpleasant to me and that it's my job (eesh) to guide him down the right path. And I have been warned countless times that I will never be more familiar with my bad habits, idiosyncrasies and simple ways of doing things than I will be when I'm watching him imitate me. And so it begins...

Today, we did that bonding-in-new-ways thing. Longer giggles and tickles, taking turns sticking our tongues out, staring at each other while swinging on the swings. I love it. I love that face and that laugh and that tongue.

Yesterday, during meals and snacks, Gavin started requesting foods that were not being served at that particular time. Things beyond the organic rice puffs that he often requests, and much more persistently than in the past. This is so cute and so not cute at the same time. Cute that his brain is developing in new ways -- the things he thinks of to say and do are amazing to this first-time mom; not cute because I don't know what "app" means (since today it meant something besides apple), and I'm not going to give him Cheerios before and after every meal, and I can't make pears appear when there are none in the fridge. Sigh.

But today he really ushered in toddlerhood when he told me "no" for the first time. He has said "no," but it was obvious today that he was telling me "no." When I calmly walked over and said, "Do not tell mommy 'no,'" I didn't realize I was also pointing my index finger at him until he did it back to me. Ugh!

And so it begins. I knew that all my years of teaching toddlers and elementary school kids would not really prepare me for parenting, but it's completely surreal and a bit intimidating to watch my sweet, sweet baby Gavin to turn into a toddler. Experienced parents: stop laughing (please).

Wonders and Woes

We just came back from Gavin's first trip to the library for toddler story time. Appropriately, the story time consisted of one story, several active songs and rhymes, puppets and a very energetic and fun story/song leader.

We had a great time. Gavin tends to be mesmerized by music anyway. Add to that a room full of mostly older toddlers and their mommies, daddies and grandmas singing and dancing, and you can imagine: it took him awhile to relax.

They started with "The More We Get Together," which Gavin and I have sung many times while reading the Caroline Jayne Church illustrated book of the same title. We also did "The Ants Go Marching One by One," which Gavin and I sang for the first time earlier that morning thanks to our toddler station on Pandora.

Once Gavin got relaxed enough to do something besides stare wide-eyed, he enjoyed dancing with mommy, dancing on his knees while watching the other kids and parents and, eventually, crawling toward the other kids.

As I mentioned, it was mostly older toddlers. It just gave me a glimpse and a listen (in surround-sound stereo) of what we are in for. The wonders and woes of true toddlerhood. The wonders of their sense of humor, their long-term memory and their pure joy of discovering something new, which are all more developed and more intense than Gavin's at this stage. It seems like those developments are really far away, but many of these kids were not that much older than Gavin, so I know they are coming sooner than I think.

After story time, everyone went from the little meeting room to the children's book area where they had coloring sheets and puzzles. There, the woes of toddlerhood became much more evident. I was surprised by how more than one three-year-old tried to hit or grab something from my (tiny) baby. Okay, he's a tall 13-month-old, but still. After one such incident of pushing by the older child, a sweet, well-meaning grandma corrected me when I gently took a puzzle piece from Gavin and gave it back to the three-year-old that was playing with it. She said that her grandson "needs to learn to share." A true statement, but not on my baby he doesn't. Grin. We'll come back after he's practiced a couple times on someone his own size.


It's not like I've never observed a toddler before. Though the fact that I am taking the time to record such simple observations may lead you to believe otherwise, I've spent many, many hours teaching that age in childcare centers and church nurseries. It just seems that raising a child is so mind-consuming that my memories of those days have faded to somewhere far in the background. It makes sense -- I need all my up-front brain space for "How do I convince him that morning does not start at 5:20?" "How many rice puffs has he had today?" "Now, what do I need at this, my fifth trip to Target in four days?" I'm convinced the same thing will happen with all of my adamant intentions of being an understanding, fair, empathetic, and maybe somewhat cool parent of a teenager. I won't be able to recall those plans let alone implement them when I'm done with potty training, first day of school, soccer teams, riding a bike, first sleepover and all the et ceteras that I cannot even imagine. I also know that the opportunity to reflect on these toddlers comes because I am seeing everything through new eyes now. Wide eyes. Mommy-of-a-baby eyes.

Overall, it was a really fun time for both of us. In fact, it made my day. I've been wanting to let him be around kids his own age on a more regular basis, which has been harder than I thought it would be. It was very stimulating for Gavin -- both during and after the story time. And it's possible that my eyes were glossy as I watched him recognize songs we've sung at home and try out new things. Something tells me we'll be doing that again.