Toys

As a work-part-time-from-home-mom, I am so blessed to be able to regularly leave Gavin with someone I trust, so I can have some quiet, focused time to help my clients. (So blessed!) After the hustle of breakfast, morning play, cleaning up, getting dressed and then getting him out the door, I usually inhale, exhale and then miss him a ton. Maybe that's why I don't mind seeing a toy or two on the floor as I walk to my desk. No matter how well we clean up -- and he is usually good at it -- a toy or book always seems to make it out of its spot as I'm loading the car or refilling his cup or doing another last minute thing. Now, my husband feels completely differently about this. Josh would be putting that book in its spot, putting the toy out of sight and then opening his laptop. I am usually like that, too. In fact, I have invested research and cash in getting those primary-colored playthings out of sight as much as possible. But, I don't know...when I'm about to start an eight hour stretch of me, my computer and my own thoughts (which can get a little scary from time to time), a little sign of life, a reminder of his silly antics brings a smile to my face. On my good days, those reminders also create a sense of urgency, like: If you want to be able to have more distraction-free playtime with your sweetie, you better buckle down and get your stuff done!

But I'll tell you another reason that -- for the last six months -- I've loved to see those toys out. Because before that he was not interested. Now, I tend to be kind of "by the book" in unfamiliar territory. Get me comfortable and I may start making up my own rules, but until then, tell me how it is supposed to work and for how long and to what degree. I drove our families crazy as I developed sleep schedules for Gavin. I drove Josh crazy as I obsessed about them. And then, when something didn't work I drove myself crazy. When it came to toys, I had a similar, albeit much less intense, experience. I was confused as to why he didn't want to play with toys. The babies in the ads looked so happy and engaged. When he did play with them, he didn't really do it the way the toys were designed. The rings didn't go on the pole. He just banged them together. I was convinced he'd be going to kinder and just banging toys together in every center. I would go in search of toys to interest him for naught. Me to Josh: "But honey, the box says 12 months and up, and he doesn't care a thing about it. He doesn't even look at it long enough to see what it does." Josh: "I think that means they won't kill themselves on it at 12 months. It's not a guarantee they'll play with it."

Recently, as I was looking back and pondering this phenomenon, I told Josh how happy I am that Gavin is playing with toys now. "You know," I said, "because all he wanted to do until he turned two was go outside, read books, put cars down ramps and run around the house with us." Josh laughed and said I sounded ridiculous. "You know those are some of the healthiest things that kids can do, right?" Yes, of course he is right. I wouldn't have traded those activities for blocks, bears and pianos--not in a million years--but between the playtime paradigms in my head and the desire for balance (and a little variety!!!), I kept one eye out for the perfect toy to capture his attention.

This general disinterest in most toys continued for months and months. Among others, my friend Cate had the same experience. Her theory (which I fully buy into) is that when they are infants they see us using a spatula, using a hairbrush, using a rag, whatever. None of those things are multicolored with bells. As babies, their number one interest is in us--our faces, our warmth, our voices. Second to that: our stuff.

Now that Gavin is playing with many different kinds of toys, it's funny to look back at my perceptions and conclusions. I'm thrilled that he still loves going outside, reading and chasing with us. But I have to admit, a little balance is nice.

Grocery Store Moment

This is a moment from the past that I really can't believe I haven't recorded until now. It is really not a big deal on the surface, but it was so profound to me.

Gavin was around 16 months (?), and we were at the grocery store (as you might have guessed from the title). He had already gotten bored with looking at the shelves and holding things for me and was starting to fuss. I pulled one of his favorite books from the diaper bag -- Mealtime -- yes, a book about food, his true love. I turned the book toward him and leaned on the cart with my elbows, so I could push the cart forward while keeping my hands free for turning pages. I continued to shop while I pushed and read, and I got several smiles or looks of amusement from other shoppers. Then we passed a gentleman well-past retirement age who gave us such a wistful look of joy and fondness, I could tell his heart was touched. I don't know exactly how to describe it, but I couldn't imagine that he was thinking anything other than about the time in his own life when his children were young. I don't know if, so many years ago, he treasured his time with his kids or wasted it, but it was obvious from the look on his face that he deeply felt the value of it now. And it hit me like a ton of bricks what a special time I am experiencing right now. It made me think that -- though I know the Lord will bring me purpose and joy in all seasons of my life -- there will be a part of me that always longs to come back to this time. And I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks...in the salsa aisle...and the freezer section...and near the olive bar... (so embarrassing).

(What I'm not saying) Maybe because I waited so long to have a child and found meaning in my Lord and the many things he put before me to be and do before I had Gavin, but I am not one of those people to tell you that your life cannot be complete without a child in it. Those insinuations were simultaneously heart-breaking and infuriating to me before I had a baby (okay, and after).

(What I am saying) That one look on a stranger's face brought an enhanced perspective to the mom-journey that I already loved. It is a beautiful picture that I will always treasure. Thank you, stranger. May you be blessed in rich and wonderful ways.

Random tips for baby

While tidying our home office, I found this list of random tips I jotted down for moms of infants. Gavin is past this stage, but I thought I would post them anyway. Short and sweet!

• Cross-body bags are great purses because you can reach down to scoop up your little one without clonking them with your purse, and the bags stay put when toting your sweetie on your hip.
• When trying shoes on your tot, have them stand up. The foot fits differently in the shoe when standing than when sitting.
• When getting a slippery infant out of the tub, it might help to put a washcloth over each hand to add more traction to your grip. (Pulling Gavin out of the tub always freaked me out. My mom told me this one.) 
• Speaking of bibs: After your little one grows out of their baby bibs, keep the terrycloth ones in the kitchen to use to wipe their little mouths after meals - better than wasting money/trees on paper towels. (I wish I'd thought of this before I got rid of a bunch of mine...)
• Are we still talking about bibs? Before putting those Velcro bibs or sleep-sacks in the laundry, fasten all the Velcro to keep it from snagging those cute baby blankets.
• Give that baby an extra kiss. It's true what they say: it goes by so fast.

Every Age is the Best Age (?)

I've probably mentioned it in an earlier post, how some people told me every age is the best age (and how some other people laughed at them). At this point (26 months into my first child), I'm not sure who's right, and the optimist in me wants to believe the former. That said, it's actually hard for me to imagine it getting better than this!  ... Oh -- did I forget to tell you to get our your air-sickness bags for this post? Okay, well get them out, but even if you're a cynic, don't stop reading yet. Later, it will be so much more satisfying to point and laugh when you're armed with this ammo.

Things are far from perfect, but I am loving this age. Two. Yes, I said it. I'm actually starting to feel a little sick to my stomach right now because I know that 27 months, 30 months and so on are going to look very different than 26 months. My mom tells me "terrible threes" were much more a part of my toddler existence than "terrible twos," so, if he's like me, I may have a long time to wait for the other shoe to drop. No matter what may be ahead, I am enjoying these moments so much. It's hard for me to imagine more back-to-back cuteness and hilarity than we are having right now.

It's been a while (too long) since I wrote a what's-happening-now post, so summarizing is out of the question (too much). Instead, here are snippets. I hope they bring you some joy.

I love his inflections! They are sounding more and more like (exactly) the way we say things (scary) and less like baby robot talk (monotone phrases). The inflections, oh the inflections! And he sometimes helps us with our "lines" if we're not playing our part correctly (for those of you just tuning in, he's the first-born of two first-borns...) For example, if we help him when he wants to do it himself, he'll say, "Oh! I sorry!" which means, "Mom, Dad, I'm sure you're so sorry you just pulled my jacket off when you should have known I wanted to do it myself. Put it back on, and I'll struggle with it and eventually ask you for help but feel like I did it myself, and then everything will be okay!"

He is starting to comment on what he's doing. He'll be walking around, "Doo be doo be doo," and then say, "Singing a song." The other day, he was playing close by while I was getting ready, and I heard him say under his breath to himself, "This'll be funny," as he set one car on top of another.

He is making huge strides with both gross motor skills and singing. Since it's my blog (not my husband's), I'll start by describing...the singing! This is where I wish I had been blogging more often. The progress in his singing over the last few months has been so fun to watch. It's amazing to me how he's gone from singing most of the words to "Twinkle Twinkle" on the same monotone pitch to now singing all the words to several songs and sometimes even matching the up and down of the pitch. A few days ago, I was singing, "She'll be comin' 'round the mountain," and he started doing the echo he's heard on some recordings, just out of the blue. Love it! A week or so ago, he made up his own song:

Old MacDonald had some food.
E-i-e-i-o
With a yummy, yummy here and a yummy, yummy there...

So, on to gross motor skills. He is "all boy" in this department, (and I am beginning to visualize/dread the day where he scales his crib through sheer will power). In fact, after climbing a challenging structure at our playground, he said, "Gavin is a big kid now." Here are his latest physical toddler feats:

• He is consistently walking the wide beam at our toddler gym with no hands.
• With his feet on the low bar of the uneven bars and his hands on the high bar, he can swing down and hang on the low bar without going kersplat.
• He is starting to use his feet to do things: close the door, pick up a book, etc. He thinks he's pretty tough.
• He is climbing up ladders and other bar-type structures, mostly without giving me heart-failure.
• He just loves running, climbing, jumping, and he is always thinking of his next cool trick.

Gavin walking up the mat backwards

Recently during open gym at our little toddler gym, he got really into passing the ball back and forth with his friend's dad (with his dad standing right there...nope, the all-around athlete/soccer player didn't get his feelings hurt AT ALL). Even though, playing with his own daddy would have been ideal, we were both pretty excited that he was willing to go back and forth with anyone. Prior to that, most ball play was strictly solo despite our best efforts (as in, "Look, guys. I threw that ball, I watched where it landed, I analyzed its every move. Touch it and my day will pretty much be ruined...and so will yours"). Don't worry, Josh didn't stay emotionally injured too long. The next day they were playing ball together. All is right with the world.

Okay, so is anyone else's kid obsessed with fake crying? We just ended a pretty long phase where he did it a ton! And most of the time, he wasn't necessarily trying to manipulate us; it was like he role-playing or something. Sometimes he would just start fake crying for no apparent reason. Then he would look at me and say in a pathetic tone, "What's the matter?" meaning, "Ask me what's the matter." I would oblige and he'd say, "Gavin crying," in that same tone, complete with cracks in his voice and everything. Whether real or fake crying, he would love to watch himself do it in a mirror. Just our family? Anyone else? 

He is just starting to get into make-believe. A blessing because it is a milestone. A challenge because doing puzzles is so much easier than following a toddler storyline! With make-believe, and with everyday encounters, I hear him using our conversational styles and phrases. At dinner, he asks Josh, "So, how was your day?" or "Have a good work?" Sometimes, he'll ask Millie (our dog) if she had a good breakfast (whether she's moved from her bed yet or not). He tells one of his little bears, "C'mon, let's go over here." Absolutely needless to say, I'm loving it!

I leave you with this. He's discovered the magic of the phrases "Mommy lets me" and "Daddy lets me" if he's been told "no" by the other parent. (He doesn't have the pronoun thing down yet, so it's actually "Mommy lets you" and "Daddy lets you.") The funny things is, usually, he's telling the absolute truth. (Sometimes daddy is surprised by what daring tricks mommy lets him do. So then we pow-wow and decide on the best [united] course.)

The dead give-away that Gavin is probably NOT being truthful? He puts on his most earnest, desperate face and uses his favorite catch-all: "Grandpa lets you."

Of course he does(n't), Sweetie. Of course he does(n't).

Little things to help behavior (1.5 to 2 years old)

I had to put that little qualifier in the title --1.5 to 2 years old-- because I have a feeling some of these behavior helpers may need some tweaking (or an overhaul) now that Gavin is two. Still, I've been thinking about this post for a long time, and as I reflect back on Gavin's transition from pre-toddler to toddler, I realize that it's a significant span of time in his sweet little life. I'm so thankful I had these tools to help make it more enjoyable.

So here they are: little things that have helped me direct his behavior in positive ways. Many of them came from On Becoming Pre-Toddlerwise or On Becoming Toddlerwise (Gary Ezzo, MA and Robert Bucknam, MD) or Brain Rules for Babies (John Medina). I think a couple may have come from my own head, but my brain doesn't stay unscrambled for long, so who knows.

These are little behavior tricks, not a comprehensive plan by any means. I mention that because Ezzo and Bucknam make a good point: it can be tempting to focus on "what" to do about behavior instead of focusing on "why," but the "why" is so important for success in those sticky situations. In addition, Medina's full discussion on the importance of empathy cannot be covered here, but it has changed the tone of many interactions with my toddler and husband. (For more, click here for my book review post.)

Though I am a clumsy, inexperienced first-time mom, I hope some of these translate to your own experience. And of course, please add your own ideas in the comments section.

Fold your hands: I read this in Toddlerwise, and I was like, "What?!...yeah, right." They say when your child starts getting fidgety or poking his/her sib at a restaurant, tell them to fold their hands. Their rationale is that children's energy must go somewhere. Just telling them to "calm down" or "stop" doesn't work because they don't have a constructive place to channel their energy. The act of folding their hands is enough redirection of energy to calm them and allow you to give them a constructive instruction before they spiral out of control. And that's the key. You have to do it early, when you first see the signs, not after they've popped their sib or started full-on whining or thrown the crayons -- especially when you're training them to do it. When you're training them, you have to catch it very early, so you can make it seem like a cool new thing, not a punishment. This is to help them control themselves. It should feel good. I think I taught it to Gavin at about 15 months -- it may have been earlier. I had to demonstrate the folding hands, and help him. He looked down at his hands and was like "cool." Sometimes, I would ask him to look at his hands. Sometimes, if I couldn't redirect him to another activity in a timely way like they suggest, I would sing a song ("Mary had a Little Lamb" was particularly mesmerizing to him at that age), or I would say, "I'm going to count to 10 while I wash these blueberries, and I'll be right with you." This tool is not supposed to be used to keep them still and quiet indefinitely -- just enough of a pause to stop the crazy and give sane one more chance.

Prepare in a matter-of-fact way: I think it was a parent comment in Toddlerwise. A mom said that she prepares her kids to obey by telling them what was going to happen in a matter-of-fact way -- so that when the time to obey comes, it feels to the child(ren) less like an opportunity for a power struggle and more like just-how-things-are. She used the example of being in the mall and telling her kids a few times throughout the trip, "When we leave we're going to stop in the bathroom and go potty," so that by the time they get to that point, they kids were like, "Okay, yeah, that's how it works," rather than "Mommy wants me to do this thing that I don't feel like doing."

Say yes mommy (yes daddy): This was from Toddlerwise, too. Ezzo and Bucknam make a good point. It's really hard for a child to throw a fit after they've said "Yes, Mommy" (not impossible, but...) Like the two prior tips, this one can't be a tool in a power struggle. It has to be used way before that to work as intended. When I first started teaching Gavin to say it, he was talking, but not always on command, so a lot of times (most of the time), he wouldn't actually say it, but I kept it up thinking at least I was laying the groundwork. At the beginning, I found myself making the mistake of only asking him to say in obviously contentious situations or when he already had resisted me. I tried to train myself to use it in all kinds of situations where I was directing him, so that the very act of saying it wouldn't become another point of contention in and of itself. I wanted him saying it to be something pleasant -- a way for me to know that he heard, understood and was ready to obey. I have to say, I really like the way this one has worked. I also have to say, as he has gotten closer to two, he is practicing the art of ignoring me and/or the ability to say "Yes, Mommy" and still complain or try to negotiate.

Offer a choice: This is a classic recommendation for toddlers, and there is a reason. It really helps. Pick up any article on the topic, and you will read "make sure all the choices are acceptable." In other words, no matter what they choose, they are accomplishing your goal (do you want to put your shoes on while on the floor or in your chair?) or you are fine with either (do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt?). This helps the toddler feel they have control over something. Don't overuse it, though, and at this age, two options are plenty.

Make it a song: So Gavin, in true toddler form, is opinionated. We both love music, but he's pretty bossy about it. "New song" (translated press skip on Pandora), "just listen" (stop dancing,  Mommy), "just Gavin" (don't repeat my improv, mom), "no no" (don't try to cheer me up with singing). This is what I hear most days. So I was shocked to learn that making unpleasant tasks a song kept working after he became a toddler. It ONLY works with fun, very familiar songs. For Gavin, it's Old MacDonald (his favorite), the "goodbye" song we sing at The Little Gym, Mary had a Little Lamb, maybe a few others. I change the lyrics to fit the activity he is fussing about at the moment (usually diaper, changing clothes, brushing teeth) -- something like "Now we're brushing Gavin's teeth e-i-e-i-o." He may be protesting all my efforts to comfort up to that point, but when I start putting silly words to one of his favorite songs, he just looks at me like, "That's funny, Mom." He can't help himself. I think part of the reason it works is he is just listening to see what I'm going to say in between the e-i-e-i-o's.


Can you...?: I read that with pre-toddlers (and early toddlers), it's all about accomplishment. We all love to see that look on our child's face when they are proud of something they've done. I've found that tapping into that trait when trying to direct behavior really helps. The first time I remember trying it, we were in a public restroom -- one of the places you really don't want your toddler to test you. (What? Don't touch? That sounds fun! Maybe I should also trying lying on the floor.) So I started asking him, "Gavin, can you touch your head? Gavin, do you know where your ears are?" I have to remember to ask it like a challenge, not like a command. It's "can you" and "do you know," not "will you" and "I want you to." Also, I save this one for the important times. I want it to keep working in those public restrooms.

Empathize: There is a much larger discussion to be had on this topic, which is why I highly recommend Brain Rules for Babies by David Medina. Since this is a "tips" blog and not meant to cover child-rearing philosophies, I will keep it simple (and hope you read the book). When correcting Gavin, I have found it so helpful to empathize first. For example, today we were at the park, and it was time to go. He started asking for one more thing (one more slide, one more swing). I said, "I know it's so fun to stay at the park and play (empathy), but now it's time to go eat dinner (consistency)." I could see his defenses drop, and he was on his way to compliance. My empathy helps him feel heard and also validates his feelings. Toddler feelings are very strong, and though often irrational, they are nonetheless very real to the toddler. It's possible the phrase perception is reality has never been more true. Discounting Gavin's feelings by saying things like, "It's not a big deal -- we can come back tomorrow," or "You should be happy we got to come at all," creates a disconnect rather than inspires trust. When I communicate that I understand how Gavin feels before redirecting his behavior, I see a big difference in how he responds. I know that I am also modeling a very important skill for him -- one that I can definitely use more practice at myself. Oh, and lucky me, since he's now two, I think I'm going to have plenty of opportunities to practice!

Big Week

It's been a while since I've shared some of Gavin's accomplishments and activities. I have a running list going on some scratch paper, and I can feel that it is about to get lost, so here's what's going on with us.

Gavin did his first real jump at the beginning of this week. He had been doing the knee-bend/toe-raise thing for a while, but recently I could tell that he was ramping up for the real thing. It's not the biggest milestone ever, but I really wanted to be there when it happened, and I was. And so was Josh.

At the beginning of this month, we were blessed to run away for a few days to visit some of our dearest friends. They have almost-seven-year-old twins (a boy and a girl) who sing constantly. Their repertoire is a healthy mix of Disney tunes and praise songs. While we were there and after we came back, Gavin would mumble a few notes and then say "song." Too cute! Well, today after a combined birthday party for his cousin and uncle, he sang "Happy Birthday." It was super close to being exactly right. He left off the last line, but, man, it was good. He sang it "to Grandpa" even though only Josh and I were there to hear it. We were SO proud!

A week that started with jumping and ended with singing...Mommy and Daddy are pretty excited. Here are some other things he's being doing over the past month or so:

• These days, most things are classified as: so fun, so yummy, zoom or pet (like I want to pet the goose). He thinks it's funny to get it wrong as in "helicopter -- so yummy" or "race car -- pet."
• Oh, and Daddy taught him "so messy" in a gravelly voice. Gavin thinks it's hilarious. I'm pretty sure that's going to come back to bite us sooner rather than later.
• Sometimes he suddenly becomes excited about where we are. He puts both hands in the air and says the name of the place, usually park, restaurant or home.
• He can almost count to twenty in English (that pesky fifteen) and to ten in Spanish (darn that nueve). He understands which numbers are bigger (for the most part) as evidenced by the following conversation: Mommy: "Two more Cheerios." Gavin: "Eight more? Nine more? Tennnnn!"
• He has held up one finger to signify the number one for a long time, but today he held up two fingers and said, "two." That will come in handy since he is almost two.
• He is always experimenting with something, and lately he'll say something in a normal voice, like "Daddy's car," and then try it without final consonants, "Da-Da Caaaaa." Of couse, he likes it when I repeat it and usually tries it a few more times after that.
• He first said, "I love you" about five weeks ago, but now he says it often. Love!

Here are the current love tags (see blog intro):
Honey Bear, Snuggle, Snuggle Bear, Silly Guy, Pumpkin Pie, Sweetie Pie, Baby Boo

Travel Leaps

My husband Josh and I are so blessed. We live near amazing family, and we get to visit amazing family in amazing places. If we had it our way, they would all live in one place, but try as we might to orchestrate that, so far our plans for other people's lives have been met with smiles, but no action...(so far...)

We have been able to travel to Colorado to see Josh's family several times since Gavin was born. The first time, he was only three months old and traveled like a champ. The second time he was seven months old. Being somewhat of an overachiever when it came to separation anxiety (he had it 2 weeks before and 2 weeks after the "normal" range), it was a very stressful trip for him. (My main indicator besides trouble falling asleep had to do with poopy diapers, and trust me, you don't want me to go there.)

The next time we went was Christmas and New Year's, during which Gavin had his first birthday. He definitely still had trouble sleeping in a new place, but I also noticed something else. It seemed like he was growing up even faster in those two weeks than normal, in a good way. Before we went, he was pulling up every now and then but didn't really seem super interested. While we were there, pulling up and cruising around on the furniture became his new favorite activities. I thought maybe it had something to do with being around cousins closer to his age (3ish as opposed to 6+), but now I'm wondering if it also had something to do with the new place, the new people, the adapting--the traveling in and of itself.

When I publish this we will have just wrapped up a fall trip to see Colorado family. During the trip, Gavin turned 21 months. It was a great trip. The sleep adjustments went MUCH better (so relieved). The new faces/new places adjustments were somewhat rockier because now that he is older he is even more aware, has more opinions, has more ways to express them, etc. He is in the thick of the struggle between "I do it myself," and "Mommy, don't leave me." Even so, he warmed up to everyone nicely (relative to his extreme shyness), and he'll warm up to them even better the next time (we have a plan).

Once we were there for several days, I started to notice that developmental acceleration that I noticed during Christmas. The mom in me is relishing it --the doggone cuteness of it all. The scientist in me (which I didn't know existing until I had a kid) is pondering it. First, the cuteness:

His sense of humor was already coming along quite nicely, but it's taken a big leap. He often would initiate little jokes with Josh and me, and now he is doing it with other adults, even his almost five-year-old cousin. He is stringing even more words together and in even more meaningful ways (and with even more adorable inflection). Physically, he is trying more "stunts." Small things like taking steps down off of bigger curbs, but also big things like we took him to open gym at The Little Gym while on our trip (he goes weekly or more at home), and he wanted to walk the balance beam without holding my hands and did (what!? proud tears!).

One night was a picture of exactly what I am talking about. After playfully engaging his cousin during dinner, asking to dip his bread in hummus and (correctly) telling Coach (Grandpa) when to stop and go based on the color of the stoplight, he did all the motions to an obscure version of "If You're Happy and You Know It" almost exactly in rhythm.

Then before bed, he "taught" me how to play the "pretend you're sleeping and then wake up and laugh and snuggle Gavin" game that he and daddy had been playing while I was on a phone call earlier. He also did this pretty amazing thing while we were reading The Eye Book. A couple times recently, Josh and I would read an entire line except the last word and let Gavin fill it in: "They see a ___ (bird). They see a ___ (bed)." Tonight, we did that, and then he did it back to us. He said (in toddler-ease), "Our eyes see ___ (we said nothing, still unsure of what he was doing, so he filled it in for us) blue. Our eyes see...red." (We started catching on.) "They see a..."   We blurted out, "Bird," probably more excitedly than when we first did it as kids. He went on, "They see a..."   "Bed!" we said. We let out some gentle good-job-buddy's, so as to not frighten him with the cheers that we going on in our heads. This was followed by all manner of silliness and cuddles and (mutual) adoring looks. After he was in bed, I might have been heard saying, "Best. Bedtime. Ever!"

Okay, so now that I've fully indulged my emotional-mommy side, I'll give my scientist-mommy side (though admittedly much less developed) a turn.

I think I'm starting to see why these trips stretch him so much, in ways that I never could on my own at home. But it's impossible for me to talk about it without first considering why kids feel so safe with mom and dad. Yes, we've been with them their whole lives, but we also know them intimately in the here and now. We know that "unna" can mean "under," "upside-down," or "Uncle Justin," and we use our context clues to interpret and communicate back with them. We know that they like to get all the cars to the bottom of the ramp before giving one a second run and that they often finish their meal with a few rice puffs. We know. And when it's in our power and their best interest, we accommodate. We are training him, but in some ways, he is training us. In my estimation, that's as it should be. It's the comfort zone.

It's not like when we're at home, I never take him out of his comfort zone. We experience new places, do play dates, learn lots of new things every day. But traveling is extended time out of the comfort zone. I'm starting to think there's nothing like all of sudden living with a whole lot of new people that your toddler hasn't trained yet. Warm, wonderful, welcoming, affectionate, observant and intuitive people--but still untrained. In this new environment, Gavin encounters a lot of humans with new ideas about how to play, how to joke, and how to do every day things, and I think--in the context of the continuing safe support of mom and dad who know these new people have Gavin's best interests in mind--this is a good thing.

Like he does with Josh and me, he still tries to ensure his preferences prevail, but he also knows these new people are untrained, so he sometimes tries a new way in spite of his preferences. This is something that I could not artificially manufacture at home without considerable heartache on my part and confusion on his because he knows I am trained. I would not arbitrarily change things up. For a good reason? Yes, I would (a new sleep schedule is necessary, potty-training must ensue, etc.), but because of the bond we have, I wouldn't do it for the sake of shaking things up (maybe that's just me).

I think this adapting has been good for him. And as he is trying new ways with new people, it seems his mind is somehow opening up in other ways: "I am safe to joke with people who are not mom and dad," "I can do that balance beam with no hands," "I can talk more and longer," etc. I'm not sure how, but I don't think these developmental leaps while traveling are my imagination.

Of course, they absolutely might be my imagination. As I've mentioned in other posts, this mommy-scientist has a sample size of one, not something from which to draw conclusions. But my sample size of one is plenty enough for me to sit here and ponder my imperfect observations. Enough for me to relish his growth and progress. Enough for me to keep perking up my eyes and ears and heart and keep getting to know him better.